Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Empty Night

Mood: Awful
Listen to: Tak Mungkin Ku Melepaskan Mu by Dygta & Andina

It was a boring night last night. As usual, I can't really sleep. There were so many things bothering me right about now. I need to calm myself up.

I took my sleeping bag and decided to sleep on my balcony. I look above the sky and I didn't see anything other then the moon dim lights from the branches of the old tree. What an empty night.

I took hours just to flashback almost everything happened to me since my puberty. Most of them were very much depressing. I am happy that I finished school, graduated from college, still having my family around me, having a place called home, having those close friends who always there for me, and most importantly I feel so bless that I still living in this world.

On the other hand, I am still me. There were so many drama going on and emotional unstable most of the time. I am still unhappy somehow. I've lost so many people I love, I've made a lot of mistakes that I couldn't just take it back, I've made so many wrong decisions, I couldn't have what I want or who I want, and I still couldn't find that one person; my soul mate.
Seriously, I feel empty. I couldn't describe the feelings in any word better than that. I am feeling miserable.

Sunday, July 12, 2009

2nd Chance

Mood: Wonder
Listen to: Tomorrow by Brandy Norwood

I don't really believe on second chance. Because second chance usually build a strong negativity and paranoia about almost everything. Second chance could be more hectic than the first one where some people either take it seriously or just for the sake of satisfying others.

So why bother to give a second chance?

Because somehow in a normal state of mind there were hope. Hope for a beginning of a better life, better person and better relationship. Because at certain point, we just want to save a heart, a feeling and a relationship. Because we believed that they can do better this time. Because we try to let them prove themselves. And because some people just deserves it.

All they have to do is just to gain the trust and make it worth the chance given.

"Treat me well. Make the best of it".

Friday, July 10, 2009

Alexa Chung's own tv show.

Mood: Swing
Listen to: Awake by Letters to Cleo

The Alexa Chung Show is a one-hour daily entertainment show, which will feature a mix of live performances, celebrity chit-chat, and the best of the web. There will be a heavy focus on audience participation, with MTV collaborating with Facebook and Twitter in the way that Total Request Live asked viewers to vote on their favourite music videos. The idea is to introduce Alexa's show (starting on June 15) at midday for young viewers home for the summer and, if it works out well, move later to an after-school time slot. Unfortunately it will only be for the US viewers. I guess I'll just have to wait until it will be on the telly here.

Sirulnick said MTV has been searching for the last few years for someone to build a show around. Alexa, who has been on TV shows since she was 18 and dates Arctic Monkeys singer Alex Turner, is a fresh face able to relate to both stars and the audience at home.

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

If he really loves you, then why does he keep asking me to come back?

Mood: Swing
Listen to: Oh Star by Paramore

I don't get it! Someone just accused me for stealing his 'propety', while another person claimed that the 'property' tu boyfriend dia. WTH? I'm guessing they both dah kenapa tipu by that particular guy. Been there, done that. And now one of them keep on blaming me for things to happened, and the other one said that 'he' love him better.

Cut the crap, dua-dua bodoh yang sangat senang diperbodohkan. Why? Because if that person love any of them that much, then why does he keep asking me to come back? How typical was that? I am trying to be wise enough to say NO memandangkan ada lagi 2 idiot yang chasing over the same guy yang kononnya boyfriend mereka. Kesian!

I didn't expected he could be like this after we ended up our relationship. Seriously, now baru aku nampak siapa dia sebenarnya. Luckily I've been saved. But I've been trying to avoid from semua yang related to him. Guess what, lagi menjadi-jadi ada. Yang seorang marah-marah cakap aku still chased his boyfriend. The other one letak la lovey dovey status kat facebook dengan combined-combined nama untuk nampakkan macam mereka such a sweet couple. Tapi the funny things was boyfriend yang mereka rebutkan and bangga-banggakan tu keep on calling me every night and texting me whenever he have those free time dengan ayat-ayat manis begging me to accept him back.

Siapa kena tipu? Siapa ganggu life siapa? Siapa nak rampas siapa? Siapa bodoh? Kalau ikut rasa selfish, aku terima saja his proposition. Kalau nak jadi sial, aku boleh saja balas dendam. Kalau nak jadi bodoh, aku relakan saja jadi nombor 2 or 3. But I am so not like that. So jaga mulut masing-masing and fikir la sendiri. I don't have time for drama or this love triangle shit sebab in the end aku pasti if aku terima dia, both of them akan gigit jari. Come on, bukannya dia hot sangat untuk korang rebutkan. Aku dah hands off. Memang tak nak. So its up to either A or B yang jadi partner sebenar the big liar tu.

My case dah settled.