Improvise

"Love is so very special, yet can make you feel so lost. It can arrive just like the springtime, and melt away like morning frost. You must find ways to nurture, always grow your love with care. Never ever take for granted, the love that you both share. Mistakes are bound to happen, you may hurt each other's heart. Yet don't give up to easily, it will tear your love apart. Love resembles a bright flame that lights a dark starry night. Never ever let this flame burn down, rekindle with all your might. Take a moment every day, look deep into each other's eyes. Never hesitate to show affection, small gestures will keep a love alive. Talk openly about your feelings, take time to show that you care. Treasure each and every moment, because to find true love is rare."

- Connie Thomas Lugo -

Rasa sunyi kadang-kadang. Rasa macam lack of attention. Each and everytime I've tried to talk about it, in the end it feels like it were all my fault. What had happened? Apa yang sebenarnya kurang? Each and everytime aku cuba kaji. Aku cuba analyzed things. Aku cuba faham both situations. Tapi kenapa it feels like I am the only one who understands? Or maybe aku masih kurang faham. But its okay. I believe aku perlu cuba untuk lebih fahami and loosen up. I really hope this could work sebab deeply inside I know it will.

Rasa communication tu kurang. There were times yang aku rasa sangat dekat and bila actually I saw his efforts towards this. I really appreciate each and everytime his sweetness just shines through it. He is still the same person inside. Cuma ada kala aku rasa left out or unwanted. Maybe its normal to be neglected for quite awhile. Maybe cuma perasaan aku yang terbawa-bawa oleh situation.

But I really do miss the moment when he is all into me. Macam you can't get even a second out of sight. Tapi things changed here and there. I just have to understand and deal with it. Or should I ask something in a way to improve this? Its not that bad. But something is missing somewhere and I guess we both just have to look after it and improvise for what its worth. Am I right?

Tapi he always be the sweetest him inside of me. He always be the person that makes me go crazy just to think about him. He will always be the only person that I adore and I surely want to spend my whole life with. We just have to let each other in. We just have to understand each other more. We have been doing good so far. I guess nothing that we can't go through when we keep faith to each other. Just improvise.

p/s: I miss you..so bad...

Life & Hypocrisy

Mood: Anxious

Hypocrite. One word untuk defined this type of people. Those people yang intend to make fun of other people behind their back instead of going straight forward. Kenapa kena cakap buruk pasal orang lain behind their back? Mungkin ada rasa tidak puas hati, atau mungkin juga ada dasar cemburu.

Kadang-kadang manusia type macam tu memang suka nak cerita keburukan or kekurangan orang lain. Kenapa tak cermin diri sendiri and habiskan masa tu untuk muhasabah diri instead of wasting time bercerita pasal orang lain? Ini jenis kehidupan manusia yang sebenarnya tiada keseronokan selain dari mengata hal orang. In front, punyalah baik, concern and caring. Belakang, stabbing other people and it hurts.

Sedih bila jadi benda macam ni. Memang betul when people said 'trust absolutely nobody'. So rasanya aku dah patut sedar and banyak belajar from this. Orang yang tak ada life macam tu patut diabaikan or perhaps dibuang dari list.

"Tolong jaga tepi kain sendiri. Cermin diri sendiri sebelum nak judge org lain. Hidup kau pun belum tentu bagus. NO! Actually memang tak ada apa pun yg bagus. Tak percaya tengok cermin or duduk diam-diam fikir. Bercakap saja tahu. Cakap banyak tapi apa pun tak ada. Cari kelemahan dan kekurangan diri sendiri; perbaiki. Jangan buang masa cari keburukan orang lain and make an issue about it. Other people have their own ways to survive. So who the hell are you to judge when clearly you are still full of imperfection. So stop talking about other people behind your back. Haven't you learn enough? Go and get yourself a LIFE".