Manusia Tak Belajar Dari Kesilapan

Manusia, tak akan pernah lari from making mistakes; that's a fact. In return, most of us akan rasa "its okay, we learned from mistakes". Tapi personally, phrase itu cuma frasa penyedap hati.

We made mistakes and we thought we are going to learn from it. Perhaps we could do better the next time and not to repeat the same mistakes again. True bila tekankan 'not to repeat the same mistakes again'. Tapi tak tahu la intentionally or unintentionally, kita akan buat other mistakes which much worse. So conclusion here, we doesn't really learn from that mistakes. In fact we will create more mistakes that is much more worse. Rebellious atau tak sengaja?

A short story example: A guy met a girl few months back and somehow decided to declare their relationship based on their feelings; that is love. Few months later the girl decided to leave for some reasons that she wanted to be a better person. The guy was disappointed but somehow he just tried to let it be if it was the best thing for her. She made her first mistake when actually she always knew that the guy was the best thing that ever happened to her and the only one who knows how to treat her at her very best. But not long after that he found out that she met another guy. But then again, she left him without giving any perfect reason. And the new guy was disappointed. Well actually, that was not the first time she left the new guy. She used to gave him hopes way back then but the same thing happened. So that's another mistake that she made. For believing her; and that was the second mistakes that the new guy made.

Clearly, in that situation the girl keep making mistakes and thought that she might learn from it. But no, she keep making more mistake yang lebih besar dan menimbulkan perasaan dendam towards certain people. As for the new guy, he had gone through it once and hoped that he won't repeat the same mistake again. And yet masih cuba percaya at the second time. But still got ditched and dumped. Which making it much worse the next time.

So assuming that we might be in this kind of situation, could you be more agree with me? I observed, I made my researched in so many examples and situations. What I found was, people just trying so hard to believe that they might learn from mistakes. For some people, they succeed. But for the most of them, they failed. They even put themselves in a much more worse conditions and situations. Jadi mana kata-kata tu pergi?

Ya, kita manusia tak boleh lari dari lakukan kesilapan. Tapi cuba buka mata, buka hati. Jangan terlalu naif dalah soal kehidupan. Sorry won't last for repeating mistakes, you know. It can only make you such an ego, stupid, heartless and self-conscious creature. Know your mistakes, avoid it from happen again. Force yourself to stop it if you have to. Jangan ikut perasaan. Soon it will burn you with all the mistakes that you made. Binasa.

Ini cuma sekadar pendapat dari self experiences and observation around me.

Friends

"Friends don't ditch friends".

Rasa macam there are so many dissatisfaction. Rasa macam too many to complain. Tapi should I or should I not? Or perhaps, I should just keep it to myself.

Orang kata, a friend in need is a friend indeed. Tapi rasanya that saying dah tak boleh pakai. Especially bila your friends just making you the less priority. Tapi mungkin bukan salah mereka. Some people just too busy with their life rather then just to entertain you; correct?

Ntah la. Maybe it has been a hard time for me and none of them are available to talk to or to at least listen.

Friends...

Speaking of change

One day we are on the top. The next day we are at the bottom. That's normal; that's just how life supposed to be. Tapi apa yang penting, aku banyak belajar while going through this journey of knowing people while understanding myself. Masih banyak to explore; I admit. Tapi hati, tolong jangan give up.

As a human, kita masih full of flaws and imperfection. We are like Baroque. Some say, imperfections tu yang buat kita sort of 'realistically' perfect. How far the truth is? I agree to disagree. Itu cuma satu frasa escapism yang nak elak diri daripada berusaha untuk jadi lebih yang terbaik.

True bila kita kena accept our other half just the way they are. True kalau semua manusia tak perfect; including aku. Tapi jangan jadikan alasan yang kita ni tak sempurna untuk avoid diri dari lakukan perubahan. There are always room for improvement either kita nampak or tak. Peluang sentiasa ada for those who really want to make those changes in their life. Most importantly, kena ada efforts yang banyak sebab things are not that easy. Bukan niat untuk jadi sempurna (which something we never gonna be). Just enough dengan berusaha untuk menjadi yang lebih baik.

Speaking for perubahan, there are a lot that we need to sacrifice in order to make those changes. Nothing venture, nothing gain (no pain, no gain?). So kalau so hard untuk make sacrifices, then sukar nak dapat satu pembaharuan. Pasal past, there's nothing we can actually do about it sebab kita tak ada kuasa untuk putar balik masa and to undo what ever mistakes that we have made. Kalau la hidup macam tulisan dalam kertas, yang salah boleh dipadam dengan liquid paper. Tapi it is not like that, kan? So the least we could do is to let it go. Let it all go and just improve for the better.

Cakap senang, kan?

Well, susah kalau kita buat benda jadi lagi susah. Instead of tunggu nanti-nanti, why not we start to make those efforts now? Time wait for nobody; true. If we realised it already, then why do we have to wait? Tunggu untuk kita berubah pendirian balik? Tunggu sampai yang lain give up?

Dunia tak ada remote control yang kita boleh pause seketika and start balik bila kita ready.

Semuanya hanya untuk memajukan diri. Untuk jadi yang lebih baik. Untuk harapan, kepercayaan yang diberi. Untuk jadi a better version of ourselves. Untuk happiness waiting ahead for those who seek for it.

Sometimes rasa macam kena push diri. Itu pun dah jadi satu sacrifice. Sometimes kita buat benda yang kita tak pernah buat. Itu pun dah jadi satu sacrifice. Sometimes rasa berat nak lepaskan apa yang dah seronok kita miliki. Itu pun dah jadi satu sacrifice. Hidup dalam dunia memang la sentiasa kena berkorban untuk dapatkan apa yang kita nak, and untuk improvement dalam diri.

Tak cuba? Tak akan tahu result.

At the end of the day, aku, kau dan mereka tahu apa benefits yang aku bebelkan ni. Aku, kau dan mereka masih diberi peluang untuk lakukan perubahan. Jadi, chances are not meant to be take for granted. Make full use of it. Selagi ada di depan mata. Kalau dah hilang nanti, menyesal pun tak guna.

Aku, kau dan mereka perlu lakukan perubahan.

Cheese cake will never make me fat

Confession: I am a cheese cake lover.

In the middle of settling my workloads, tiba-tiba craving for cheese cake.

(Entri apa macam ni?)

Surat Seribu Kemaafan

Dear you,

It have been 13 years since you gone. Somehow, Hari Raya always reminded me the day you left. It was unexpected and kadang-kadang rasa macam tak boleh terima. Tapi Allah lebih sayangkan kamu. Early this morning, I stopped by in front of that 'place'. I've been doing it almost every year since the past 4 years of celebrating Hari Raya alone. Each and every time I rasa nak masuk and just go to your spot. Tapi I still don't have the guts and itu yang paling I sakit hati. Ever since you gone, I just tak pernah pergi to any funeral even my atok's and nenek's. I just couldn't stand that specific memories that reminded me that you're gone. You have went to 'that' place masa I wasn't ready to let you go.

Maybe masa berlalu cepat and I banyak dah lupakan our moments. Tapi trust me, I tak pernah lupa apa saja yang you dah lakukan and sacrificed for my happiness. You taught me about commitment which I didn't have the clue at that early age. You taught me to sacrifice for the love ones. You taught me to be me. And I am so thankful for that. I sangat appreciate all of that.

There were times we fought and we argued over big things and silly things. Tapi you were the one yang selalu pujuk and mengalah. I am so sorry for that to happened. We were young; I was so naive and you were so matured for your age. I am sorry for that last phone call few hours before you left me. We argued over Hari Raya. I sentiasa rasa bersalah even until now for not being understanding enough masa tu. And worse of all, I tak sempat nak betul-betul minta maaf pada you. That is the biggest burden yang I tanggung sampai sekarang. But I hope somehow you can forgive me for that.

Sometimes I just wondered, kalau you masih ada lagi will we still be together? But I bet not. Masa akan banyak buat kita berubah. Tapi yang pastinya, you are such a wonderful person yang sentiasa buat I rasa bertuah and I will never forget you. Rasa there were so many things to share and I know mungkin you sendiri nampak from up there. Its tough and somehow you are quite lucky not to have go through all of that.

Dalam setiap doa I akan sentiasa sebut nama you. Time passes by tak bermakna I terus lupakan you and be happy. Especially when it comes to Hari Raya, it was that specific tragedy sentiasa haunting me and making me a bit turn off with this occasion; plus with many other failure near to it. I miss you so much if only you could hear me say it out. The only thing I can do is to berdoa agar you berada di tempat yang baik-baik. Again, I am so sorry for everything and I am regret not to find the courage untuk melawat you di 'situ'. Insyallah, I will one day. Terima kasih for every single thing. I miss you, I really do.

Al- Fatihah....