Coco Chanel: Once Upon A Time

Keira Knightley as Coco Chanel

Click the link below to view the new released Coco Chanel film by Karl Lagerfeld starring Keira Knightley.

Coco Chanel : Once Upon A Time

Source: www.vogue.co.uk

And I miss...

Realitinya, satu persatu makin jauh. Most of my best-friends either engaged or getting married or having a  baby.

Happy; sebab mereka dapat bina kehidupan baru. Dapat bina keluarga sendiri. Dapat kecapi kehidupan yang dirancang. Dapat meneruskan phase cinta yang seterusnya.

Sedih; sebab situasi berubah. Masa dan surroundings pun berubah. We are not as close as we were back then. Semua busy planning untuk receptions, hens nite, baby shower and kids birthday. Aku lupa yang people grow old. Sooner or later mereka ada keluarga sendiri dan mungkin tiada masa to entertain their choose-to-be-single male best-friend.

To them, masa sentiasa berjalan. But I am still stuck here mengharap benda yang surely never going to happen. Semua moving on. I moved on; except for that one particular part. Maybe I don't want to. I am  still living in my sweet few years back memories. Still hanging on to it. Pathetic bukan? Or perhaps terlalu setia.

Kadang-kadang rasa left out. Or conversations on their planning for the future lagi menarik dari cerita aku. Cemburu at times. But, aku tak pilih cara ini. Aku adalah ini. I am still trying to get used to the fact that one day, semua akan meninggalkan aku dan aku akan meninggalkan semua. Masa yang menentukan and aku tak ada kuasa untuk stop or hold the situations.

I miss the old bonding. I miss my best-friends.

I miss you.

Always have, always will.

To Die For: Chanel Spring/ Summer Lego Handbags 2013

Chanel Spring/ Summer Lego Handbags 2013

I Am Changing

Sekian lama...

Macam-macam jadi. I have gained something, I have lost something. I guess that is a normal circle in life, bukan? Nak compile semua dalam 1 post, memang mustahil. Besides there are a few things yang aku rasa masih belum bersedia untuk dikongsi. So, I just want to share the feeling I have at this particular moment.

Sungguh, lately aku rasa betul-betul nak berubah. At one point aku rasa macam "cukup-cukup lah tu". I admitted without hesitation, I am a mean person. Or at least that WAS who I am before. Hobi aku mengutuk orang and downgraded them. I talked about people behind their back. I look down on their abilities. I always thought I am much better then them. By looking down on them, aku rasa puas. But who am I kidding?

Sampai satu tahap, I think I am making a fool out of myself by doing all those mean thing. Konon, by doing all that boleh buat aku rasa lebih bagus in person. Hell no! In fact aku lagi merugikan masa dan fikiran aku dengan mencari masalah serta kekurangan orang lain, instead of perbaiki kekurangan dan selesaikan masalah aku sendiri. I hate that version of me!

Now, honestly, aku sedar. I don't want to be that person anymore. I should give people a chance to prove and to build themselves up. I should be there to help rather than to steal away their self esteem. I should have been there to tell the truth and be completely honest instead of making fun and talking bad things behind their back. I don't know about you. But I seriously don't want to be that person anymore.

"I am sorry to those who became my victims all of these days. I am truly sorry. I know I have been so mean with or without you knowing it. Again, I am sorry. I hope you could find a way to forgive me. Give me a chance to change. I know I can be better.

Sincerely; Me."

Soal Hati

Bila dah jadi macam ni, mula la kalut. Bila dah rasa tak mampu, mula la fikir I can live on my own. Konon I don't need anyone else but me, my family and my close friends. But as time goes by, mula la realized that I have been living in denial.

True bila cakap kita ada family yang menyayangi kita and friends who will always be there for us; Alhamdulillah. Persoalannya; cukupkah? There were times rasa sunyi datang. Rasa unwanted. Tengok sana sini holding hands. lovey dovey. Tipu kalau aku rasa tak cemburu. Tipu kalau aku rasa as if I don't need all of that. 

Nasib tak menyebelahi atau aku kurang usaha?

Everyone deserves to love and to be love. Fakta manusia semua nak ada rasa mencintai dan dicintai. Tapi nasib bercinta macam gamble. Atau aku terlalu berserah pada takdir; kononnya takdir bole jalankan segala kerja.

Someone told me that I have to look for it. Dia tak datang jatuh dari langit.

Or maybe I am still holding back. Menanti cinta yang lama berbuah kembali. Mungkin aku tak boleh tipu diri sendiri. Mungkin ini la dinamakan cinta sejati. Persoalan hati; tak terjawab atau tak cukup berani untuk menyatakan 'ya'.